The Brazillian Carnivale in London- my first festival!

London- strolling past Big Ben



Heading out for a hot date.



Amanda, Nanny and I at the very famous BBC Proms to listen to classical music... a very hot evening- thought I would die.



Can you believe this is London? Very, very hot, all the parks are dying.



The beautiful Portobello Markets in London. Best food in town!

The beautiful flower-lined streets of Dublin
or for those who prefer: The beautiful pub-lined streets of Dublin



Carrickfergus Castle- perched on the ocean. Going to Lughnasa Medieval Fair in Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland.



Inside the castle keep! Lots of hotties in chain mail.



Sword fighting to win the heart of fair maiden (me, of course)

Week One: Stinky Hot London & Loving It

Good news… The plane didn’t crash! There was a brief moment of blind panic when the smell of fuel wafted into the cabin during takeoff. I’ve always been a firm believer that if the flight attendant is telling you not to worry, whilst hastily punching in the number for the cockpit on the intercom to warn the captain, there is a problem. If they really wanted to do a good job of convincing us, they should have started serving lemonade and peanuts. For the benefit of unseasoned travelers, peanuts are the universal beacon of hope when it comes to air safety. As soon as the peanuts are served, you can sit back, relax and confidently unfold your tray table, firm in the knowledge that you are out of the danger zone.

The flight over to London went quickly, courtesy of the drinks cart. I had a Baileys on Ice to celebrate my good fortune. This also helped to deaden all feeling in my nostrils, which had become uncomfortably dry during the previous flight. Every time I breathed in, the two sides of my nostrils would stick together before painfully separating. Kinda like when your tongue sticks to the freezer door. Not that this is something that has ever happened to me.

Amanda and Ben had kindly arranged a car to pick us up from Heathrow Airport. I cannot describe the feeling of relief when I saw our little Bangladeshi driver holding up a handmade sign with ‘J.Holman’ scrawled on it. The last thing I wanted to do was negotiate the London Underground, armed to the max with what I had decided was a ridiculous amount of luggage. All necessary, of course.

At 5.15am, Amanda and Ben came stumbling out of their home to greet us. Well I’m sure Ben would have, if he were brave enough to exhibit his PJ clad body to the entire population of Belsize Park. Wear them with pride, Ben, wear them with pride!

After breakfast, Nanny and I headed straight out for a day on the town. And it was a scorcher! A combination of humidity and high temperatures around 35 degrees slowed our progress, but we were determined. We went to Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum… I was very impressed with the lifelike quality of the wax figures. Embarrassingly, I approached one of the exhibits and after not recognizing them as a celebrity, said really loudly “Who do you reckon this is Nanny?” The last thing I expected was a rather snooty “I’m Clint, I work here.” I couldn’t decide whether it would be best to crawl under a rock and die, or to point out to Clint that he should probably consider eating more leafy greens to combat dull skin.

Recently, the museum opened what they lovingly call The Chamber of Serial Killers. Even the introductory sign warns away ‘people with nervous dispositions’. The exhibit brings Britain’s most notorious murderers to life… literally. Several actors are planted among the gruesome display, with the sole purpose of scaring the crap out of you. And holey moley did they do a good job! Foreboding white fog billows out of the entrance to the chamber, which twists and turns through an impressive maze of severed limbs and hacked off heads. It’s tough pretending to be unaffected by the whole thing… particularly when you are so busy screaming like a wimp. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. And this is coming from someone who used to crimp their hair in the 80’s.

There is obviously a lot to mention, so I will try to be brief! We visited a lot of markets, including the Portobello stalls where Jamie Oliver buys his groceries. The array of gourmet food is mouth watering. All the produce is of such high quality, and the colours are amazing! Definitely a highlight for me.

Another day was spent in Greenwich visiting the Royal Observatory- home of the Meridian Line and the National Maritime Museum- didn’t spend a long time at that last one, incidentally.

The weather has been nice at times, but stinking hot for the better part of it. The buildings retain heat in their bricks, so it is like sleeping in a furnace… but much worse. I resorted to having stone cold showers before turning in for the night. And the worst thing of all- the beer isn’t even ice cold. It’s served luke warm, just slightly colder than room temperature. Still, beer is beer and I imagine it would be quite nice in the depths of winter. In the meantime, I highly recommend the vast consumption of Gin & Tonic to revive oneself.

I had a fantastic night out with Amanda & Ben, and a group of their friends at the Porterhouse Pub in Covent Garden. When we arrived, the place was crowded. Ben set forth on a mission to obtain vital fluids, leaving Amanda and I to guard the piddly spot of pavement we would call our own for the night. Within seconds it started to rain, and before we knew it we were the only ones still outside, leaving a most satisfying amount of space for us to occupy. We shook open our umbrellas and had a most wonderful evening.

On Sunday, we had High Tea at the Ritz Hotel. It was so fancy schmancy! We had a selection of sandwiches with their crusts cut off, fluffy scones and little pastries and cakes. All sinfully decadent! To finish off, the waiters bring out fresh berries with clotted triple cream. Yum! I will post some photos on the website very shortly. This was certainly a once in a lifetime experience!

And now, I find myself sitting at the airport lounge waiting to fly to Dublin. Somehow my suitcase has put on three kilos even though I only bought a pashmere wrap and a bottle of shampoo. Strange…

Catch ya later!

The 'Gone With The Wind' Itinerary - until the end of September

July 17th
3pm: On plane headed to London with my Grandmother, who from here in shall be known as ‘Nanny’.

3.15pm: Knocking back the champers, wondering if they have remembered to refuel the plane…

July 18th 5.15am UK time: Arrive London Heathrow, to the sound of several remarks about how fresh I look after 24 hours in a cramped aeroplane.

July 18th-25th: Perusing the sights of London with my sister and brother in law (Amanda and Ben), try not to get arrested in first week of trip.

July 25th- 1st August: Dublin… conducting vital pub research for my book.

1st- 8th August: County Kilkenny

8th- 14th August: Tralee, Sligo

14th- 16th August: Bunratty for Medieval Banquet

16th- 21st August: County Mayo

21st- 29th August: Northern Ireland

29th August: Fly to Valencia, Spain

30th August: La Tomatina Festival, Buñol

31st August: Festa Major, Vilafranca del Penedés

1st-4th September: Requena Grape Harvest, Requena

5th- 9th September: Mare de Deu Horse Festival, Balearic Islands

9th September: Sergorbe Bull Run, Segorbe

10th-14th September: Feria de Murcia (and Moors & Christians Festival), Murcia

14th-22nd September: Jerez Autumn Festival, Feria de San Miguel, La Fiesta de Nuestra Señora de la Mecreca, Seville Region

22nd- 26th September: La Merce Fiesta, Barcelona (with Amanda)

The skinny of it...

For those who only want the lowdown of the trip, this bit’s for you, ya slack buggers.

July: London, 1 week.
July-August: Ireland
September: Spain
October: Somewhere in Mediterranean
November: English countryside
December: Ocean crossing to Caribbean
January, February: Caribbean Island HoppingAfter That: TBC

The Big Three

This is what is making up the bulk of my trip:

1. A mosey around Ireland with Janet Holman, my grandmother. Aside from exploring the countryside, we will be tracking down information about our Irish ancestors. I will be chief chauffer, and Janet will be chief navigator. With the perfect blend of driving prowess, dodgy maps and bad road signs, we are guaranteed to have a laugh or two.

2. I have two writing projects going on at the moment. One of them is a humorous fiction piece and the other is on obscure and bizarre festivals/rituals and events from around the globe. So I will be visiting a lot of festivals for research purposes, of course.

3. A wonderful sailing trip to the Caribbean on Fiddler’s Green (a beautiful, old wooden square rigged topsail schooner), captained by my good friend Doug Watson, his partner in crime Karen Nicholson, and the rest of the scaly crew. Don’t worry- I have packed my floaties!